When does cheating exactly start?
Cheating is defined as extramarital/extra-relationship affairs with another person who is not your partner.
And usually cheating marks the end of a relationship since the side being cheated on generally would choose to break up with the cheater.
So in a relationship, the man seems to find a better counterpart than his wife/girlfriend, what does he do?
And in what ways can the man keep the matter honorable than simply devious? By straight up breaking up with his wife and go seek the better one?
However, how do you know this person is the better one if you haven’t sought her already?
But by the time you were seeking her, you are already breaking the law of monogamy, you are seeking someone outside of your marriage/relationship when your partner doesn’t know. And by the very definition, as long as you have a partner, doesn’t even matter they know or not, if you are seeking an extramarital relationship, you are committing infidelity.
But what is human by the way?
Greedy creatures of their very own interests.
Besides from the conventional view of relationships, if there is a better person out there, should you seek her/him?
I think the general answer is yes. And it doesn’t matter if one is in a relationship or not. I think, the only difference is, if you are not in a relationship and you are seeking a better person, you are not committing infidelity and you are morally right. But if you are still in a relationship and you seek a better person, then you are morally wrong and a cheater.
As you can see, there is an apparent value conflicts here.
If you want for yourself the better one, you are breaking the laws of ethics. If you want to keep your promises, your greed doesn’t allow you to do so since you also want the better one.
The solution is twofold: If you are not greedy, the problem will be resolved by keeping the monogamy code. If you are greedy, you are breaking the code but you get yourself a better one.
The value conflict is very clear, your human nature, against human disciplines. And I would not think twice that this battle hasn’t been fought for centuries.
Sometimes, an affair can be very complicated.
Human greed is a miraculous thing. It doesn’t just want the better one, it wants all.
Lovers sometimes act as the dessert for the main meal, one person is not satisfied for just the main meal, he/she wants more, and newer stimuli.
It explains why sometimes a person would abandon his/her apparent better spouse to seek an inferior one, just for the newer taste of “love”, or “sex”.
Sometimes, I also want women to think a bit deeper in their relationships. What do you really want in a relationship? And what is it that you think, is important in a relationship?
Relationships based on mutual understanding and a deeper bond are more impregnable than ones that are bonded by biological chemistry.
Don’t think of a relationship as happy ever after, think of it as something that marks your growth.
I think, the more reliant a woman is on a man, the more likely she is going to be cheated on. The same applies to men, the more trust/security a man puts on a woman, the more likely she is going to cheat.
It’s this independence wall being broken, and either side can roam free without the fear that he or she may one day lose that security.
To me the question is, is it possible to seek someone better while still keep things honorable and respectful?
I think there is a way.
Being honest starts with the being honest with yourself and your partner.
A relationship ends not only because of its internal baggage, but also a person’s greed.
Introduce the person you think is better with your current partner, then decide what steps you are going to take next.