After these few months, I feel quite exhausted as how things have unfolded.
As of now, the visa is in progress, however, I might not even have it on time before first day in college.
Who’s gonna take the blame? Whose responsibility is this? Every one who took part inside this operation has shown an extreme obnoxious side of themselves. And I have to bear the consequence… Fucking why?
My parents love to just not give it all in, stalling, holding, doing what they do best to undermine the process and cut down the quality. Giving half the price and ask people to do twice the job.
The people who did the visa application for me are completely self-centered, profit-driven people, who can’t care less about how this thing is gonna end. As long as they get the money, they are fine with whatever possible repercussions I’m gonna suffer. They are insane, one person even worked in her pregnancy and her baby was born during the whole thing. These people are not happy unless you give them more money.
My creditor is even more obnoxious, he only cares about his money and short-term return. Very short-sighted and profit-driven.
I went to my previous school and got traumatized again. And some other government organization let me experience the dark side of the society. The amount of darkness looming over this country is beyond description. Everyone for themselves, no one ever cares about what would happen to another person.
I just feel tired, really.
I should’ve felt happy before I can leave the country and head for my school. But right now I’m not happy at all. I’m miserable, just like my father. My father is a person who loves to dump his shit over to other people, making everyone around him suffer, and unhappy.
Too much stupid shit have happened in the past 7 months, now I seem to suffer the result from the whole not-so-smoothed process.
And whose blame is it?
I tried to help them you know? I tried my best to lift them up. I try to understand them and walk in their shoes. But what sort of results do I have? Nothing.
They are not only not grateful at all, but can’t even understand a bit of what I did for them. I tried to lecture them, tried to warn them, tried telling them what to do is the best for the operation. But not A SINGLE GOD DAMNED PERSON LISTENED!!!!!!
I feel totally disappointed by my parents, and people who took part in this operation. They all failed me. I’m very very unhappy.
My father is a loser, he and his friend all believe in the bullshit they created for themselves and now they never really succeed.
My father never succeeded, and he blame his family for it.
His friend Lu on the other end, believes in the same shit, and he’s also not very successful as well. They are all very short-sighted and profit-driven people, that’s why they don’t succeed.
Lu is a bit better off than my father is because he processes information better than my father, however because of the mentality he has, he doesn’t necessarily come off as very wealthy, or simply, successful.
I met other successful people in my life, all of them share pretty positive vibes around them, that’s why they succeed.
My father and Lu believe that as long as you have an opportunity, and you grab it, then you would succeed. But they never succeed themselves.
And this connotation is extremely wrong as they never understand what success is.
You don’t succeed by chance, you succeed by becoming better of yourself. I don’t get why so many people, most of them are poor and extremely unsuccessful people, all share this view that, when there is a good opportunity dawn on you, then you’d succeed.
That’s completely bullshit and anti-nature.
Success is never a variable, it’s a constant, and it’s a hard constant developed by yourself.
The reason why success is hard to achieved by many is arbitrariness. And sometimes people would like to attribute this as the sole reason to why people fail and succeed. But that’s just a parameter, something that makes it hard, but not makes it impossible.
People who fail to see this all don’t succeed.
Success for one, definitely comes from quality–solid work, solid abilities, solid status and solid skills. The problem right now is, my father and his friend apparently believes that with opportunities, they can straight up succeed. I think that can’t be more wrong.
I never think of you need to wait for an opportunity, all successful people create their own opportunities.
Why should you listen to people who never succeed and only know to blame others?
All successful people know that is is in the heart, that alters the reality.
You need the soul, and the body to make it happen.
After all, I just see this clearer and clearer that reality can be altered by your inner status. Inner universe, you know?
And it is because of this sort of alteration of reality, people succeed from it. Steve Jobs, Elon Musks……
I also find that, listening to dumb people and unsuccessful people’s advice is extremely detrimental to not only your mental health, but also your physical health.
They apparently don’t understand life. And they don’t understand why people have a life.
The problem lies within how to nourish your life. How to nourish the process.
It’s not about the goal, it’s about how you can fully engage, care for and nourish the every day. of something of a big structure, a big scale.
How you listen to others, how you focus in the process, how you engage, how you care for other people, how you understand the world, means everything to not just your soul, your life also your success.
People who fail to see this don’t succeed. And they never did.
I know that there are people who succeeded by chance, but that’s really a small amount of percentage. Most of successful people succeed by actually putting it into the work, putting it into the soul, putting it into the nourishment. And sometimes they are confused, directionless, as to whether they are walking the right path, onto the right road, but they are. As long as you are willing to put into the work, you will get rewarded.
However, there is also the factor of smart decision-making, being a better strategist than others in long-term planning, and how you look for long-term return.
I believe the idea of profit-driven is detrimental to both brain and heart, and it is proven to be true. If all of your world is just money and profit, then I suppose you don’t have a life and are quite miserable.
Once these ideas have sunk into your brain, you now wield a complete different system than others. A complete different basis, that can outmaneuver others simply because, you approach problems differently than other people.
Knowing this makes me feel safe, as I know that success does not come from sudden madness, and success comes from as what Bruce Lee describes, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”
And quite frankly, I don’t get it why right now my freedom is taken away by my father. As he wants so much to dictate my life.
Chinese parents are shit for this, they don’t know what they want, but they know what their kids want for them?
No they don’t. They are just cowards and losers who can not succeed and ask their offsprings to do the job for them. It’s completely selfish and self-centered mentality.
I really want to leave all of these things behind, but I understand the fact that every country has its own problems.
China is fucked up on multiple levels, but if you don’t mind about the major issues, like limited freedom, low quality of life and basically everything, selfish people etc., you might as well live quite happily in this country. If, provided, you can ignore all of these problems.
Canada also has its own problems, too many immigrants, not a strong Canadian culture, and people could be racist sometimes etc. But on the humanitarian side, Canada is far better than China on so many levels. I think if you don’t like China, it’s most likely because it doesn’t have any sort of humanitarian elements inside the country. It’s all gone as the totalitarian regime gains more control each and every single day. And generally how people treat each other like shit every day.
And again, who wants to leave their own country to be a second citizen in another country? It’s just we got taken away so many things in our own country we have to seek another place to retake our own things back. Our own humanity and our own freedom.
China is not all bad, there are good people, but people simply just lack it. They lack sympathy. Like again, the country is fucked. Zero humanitarian element.