My therapist asked me to write something.

It’s been awhile, but not very long, since last time I wrote something.

I’m not quite sure what to write right now. As most things are depressing in my opinion, almost none can be seen as a triumph and be written as a subject.

It does look urgent that at this moment, a new ideology is in dire need to provide some answers to world problems.

The war between democracy and dictatorship grows stronger and stronger every day.

Some said it’s foolish to look at the world as binary between democracy and dictatorship. Some said, the war between the two ideologies never ended.

On the side of democracy, the disillusion is high. Many people grow weary of the system, after years long propaganda, failed domestic/social progressions, and an outdated and hardly-working system. Trump’s 4 year administration completely disrupted America’s social and economic development, causing allies to drop out of treaties and making more enemies around the world.

However, unity grows ever stronger on the side of dictatorship. Due to the disruption US has brought in the past 4 years, Trump alone has strengthened the national unity within China, strangely enough.

And in the past 4 years, as Trade War, initiated by Trump, sucked into the bones and marrow of each country’s economy, the relations between US and China have  dropped to a historical low.

All of this has been pretty depressing, matter of fact, 2020 is depressing as fuck. First in January, it was almost having a war break out between US and Iran because Trump sanctioned the assassination of a high military general in Iran.

Then Australia started to have strong wildfire that couldn’t go distinguished.

I am almost weirded out by why should I be depressed by these incidents? They have nothing to do with me. Am I over-imagining? Overthinking?

In January as well, a novel disease spread around rapidly inside China. Then, after February and March, the two month long baking period, the virus has started a worldwide pandemic.

In hindsight it was predictable. And when I experienced the outbreak in January, I was also highly cautious that this could become a extremely contagious outbreak that spread around the globe, because the virus was already doing damage at an ultraspeed in China. The spreading rate was really fast, within weeks we had an influx of case reports all over the country, albeit the ground zero province was in total lockdown.

Following this, later time as the disease has spread over other countries, the situation in the world can not be worse. America has topped the death count and infection number. Canada hasn’t been doing very good as well. Looking at the number, it’s worse than China.

Albeit I do know that our numbers are not very credible, but I have absolutely no idea what are the real numbers. The truth is hidden deep behind bars, and investigations on the origin of the virus seem to have dropped for no reasons. In March, over the Chinese internet there were still talks and articles about the investigations of the real origin of the virus. But ever since then, nothing came out and the Chinese Internet completely blocked relevant information on that, and CCP was also dropping the investigations as well, for unknown reasons.

The focus, was shifted entirely on combating the viral outbreaks.

As time moves on, there are more and more speculations emerging inside both China and US. Some really strange and edgy conspiracy theories have been floating around ever since.

The world does not look good, at all.

My therapist asked me to write a book. But I have literally no materials to write from and I haven’t experienced the world enough yet. Matter of fact, I don’t know hen I can actually start gathering data and materials.

I mean, yeah sure, I can start writing a book right now. Totally fine, I don’t need that much shit I can just start writing it. I mean, writing a book is just about writing. Writing.

But damn. Where do I even start?

No data no material what the hell am I even doing?

I have been writing sociology-related and politics-related topics on this blog for a long time. I have been depressed for the past couple months, absolutely depressed. Clinically diagnosed depression. It’s not that I don’t want to write, it’s I simply can’t possibly write. I don’t even have the energy to get up, I feel absolutely awful.

Thus I discontinued the blog for a while.

I really don’t know what I can write at this moment, it’s all of some depressing shit to me. China is depressing, Canada is depressing, America is even more depressing.

Fuck they are countries man?! How come countries not offer any sort of counter examples of their shittiness? I DON’T FUCKING GET IT!





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