termination

Things are not working out again. Again.

This time, the stupid basic problems linger for so long are making my life collapse here.

Nothing is really turning out to be good, everything is slowly heading towards a down point.

I don’t know what’s the point of keep staying here.

My sleep is still very bad, it’s eating up my health. It’s like a battle every night when you try to fall asleep. My sleep cycle is completely normal and sleeping habits are as well, the problem lies with the noise, I can’t hear anything during falling asleep, and it’s apparent now I can’t really hear anything during the sleep as well. It’s like, my father’s genes are passing down to me and make me unable normally function anymore, I of course hate my parents, all they gave me was garbage. Their weaknesses are passed down to me exactly, my mom’s being weak, my father’s cowardice. And all of their shitty problems as well. My father has far too many problems to even begin with, many shitty traits are passed down to me, all of my problems are essentially not really my problems, because I never chose to have them at the start, they are all given. And I have to SUFFER FROM IT! It’s so fucking unfair! ...READ MORE

Looking at China and Canada

It’s been two months since I left China.

The country has done some significant damage to me. And I feel like right I am forced to forget all of those things in order to set myself to the right track.

However, the damage is dealt, it’s impossible to erase what they have done to me. The time wasted, the money lost, the health damaged and the mind traumatized.

I tried the method a counsellor told me, to ignore the negative thoughts of China and my parents, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s really just a buffering method. The hatred hasn’t dissipated, it just stays inside the subconscious forever. I still hate China, I still hate my parents, I still hate whoever harmed me because of their selfishness in the visa event. ...READ MORE

Tourette’s Syndrome Research

So I would like to think of Tourette’s Syndrome as more of a hyper neurological system.

Most people with Tourette’s show very active responses/reactions towards outside stimuli, hyper reactions.

And stimuli can come from many angles–visuals, sounds, pain on your body, bad taste, bad smell, stress etc. Anything that can stimulate a person’s brain can be considered as a stimulus, and our brains intake a ton of outside stimuli every day. ...READ MORE

Different Systems Produce Different Results

After these few months, I feel quite exhausted as how things have unfolded.

As of now, the visa is in progress, however, I might not even have it on time before first day in college.

Who’s gonna take the blame? Whose responsibility is this? Every one who took part inside this operation has shown an extreme obnoxious side of themselves. And I have to bear the consequence… Fucking why?

My parents love to just not give it all in, stalling, holding, doing what they do best to undermine the process and cut down the quality. Giving half the price and ask people to do twice the job. ...READ MORE

A Government Is the Embodiment of Its Own People

So, to a point where I am tired of participating in politics.

Politics is tiring, it asks you to choose sides, and choose diligently, as you need to behave what the particular side asks you to.

China. Yes, again.

China is a traditional country, it still pretty much is.

I am saying traditional, because the social structure hasn’t been changed much in the past century.

Hear this, what kind of population, produces what kind of government.  ...READ MORE

AI as of Today

Date far back to the beginning of the 20th century, there were people sacred of a full-on machine invasion of humanity: highly intelligent artificial life forms that consist of mechanical parts and cogs will eventually take over the human world.

Such a horror towards things we don’t know.

To this day, this kind of fear still exists in many fictional forms–books, movies, music etc.

AI, to be frank, is not there yet. A mature AI is not going to be in this world in 100 years. So stop bothering. ...READ MORE

Why Immigrate?

Why would you immigrate?

The reason is simple, political reasons.

Mainland China is becoming more and more totalitarian with no end on sight, this bothers me.

And then, some Chinese would brush it off like nothing and tell me, “Why would you even bother with politics? As long as you can live, politics isn’t important.”

It is important, and involving in politics actively in a democracy can subsequently change citizens’ lives, whereas in a totalitarian state it’s impossible. ...READ MORE