I feel like ever since the 2018 hospital incident, my health conditions haven’t been good.
Most of the times I have no idea what’s going on in my body and why do I have all the previously never seen strange behaviors.
At this moment, it’s quite clear that my body is yet again fucked.
And other than waiting for it to recover, there is not much I can do.
OF course, I want to finish what ì started. But I’m afraid I don’t have the means to do it anymore.
Music is not that hard to learn.
By being in Vancouver, I met some really good teachers. Adam and Dave are the teachers that really, just, I believe in many ways, good.
And in terms of music theory, it isn’t a hard subject to learn. Compare to math, physics, subjects that can transcend into very complicated areas, music is actually easy to learn.
I met many talented producers amongst me, and I believe they have this thing with music. The “it” factor.
I find, the cost of problem solving is simply too huge to afford in Canada.
Canada is slow, inefficient. This leads into the fabrics of how every single thing functions in that society.
When it’s slow and inefficient, the cost of problem solving goes up exponentially, it makes everything hard to flow through.
People there treat wait time as a nuisance, an annoyance, something that can be tolerated. But most of them don’t care about the cost of problem solving, how much it’s going to cost and how long is it going to take.
It’s been two months since I left China.
The country has done some significant damage to me. And I feel like right I am forced to forget all of those things in order to set myself to the right track.
However, the damage is dealt, it’s impossible to erase what they have done to me. The time wasted, the money lost, the health damaged and the mind traumatized.
I tried the method a counsellor told me, to ignore the negative thoughts of China and my parents, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s really just a buffering method. The hatred hasn’t dissipated, it just stays inside the subconscious forever. I still hate China, I still hate my parents, I still hate whoever harmed me because of their selfishness in the visa event.
After these few months, I feel quite exhausted as how things have unfolded.
As of now, the visa is in progress, however, I might not even have it on time before first day in college.
Who’s gonna take the blame? Whose responsibility is this? Every one who took part inside this operation has shown an extreme obnoxious side of themselves. And I have to bear the consequence… Fucking why?
My parents love to just not give it all in, stalling, holding, doing what they do best to undermine the process and cut down the quality. Giving half the price and ask people to do twice the job.
So, to a point where I am tired of participating in politics.
Politics is tiring, it asks you to choose sides, and choose diligently, as you need to behave what the particular side asks you to.
China. Yes, again.
China is a traditional country, it still pretty much is.
I am saying traditional, because the social structure hasn’t been changed much in the past century.
Hear this, what kind of population, produces what kind of government.
Date far back to the beginning of the 20th century, there were people sacred of a full-on machine invasion of humanity: highly intelligent artificial life forms that consist of mechanical parts and cogs will eventually take over the human world.
Such a horror towards things we don’t know.
To this day, this kind of fear still exists in many fictional forms–books, movies, music etc.
AI, to be frank, is not there yet. A mature AI is not going to be in this world in 100 years. So stop bothering.
