My therapist asked me to write something.
It’s been awhile, but not very long, since last time I wrote something.
I’m not quite sure what to write right now. As most things are depressing in my opinion, almost none can be seen as a triumph and be written as a subject.
It does look urgent that at this moment, a new ideology is in dire need to provide some answers to world problems.
The war between democracy and dictatorship grows stronger and stronger every day.
I’ve been starting to get into this belief, that the battle between democracy and dictatorship is a futile fight at the cost of people.
I witnessed the practices in democracy, it’s far from the ideal of what a true democracy should look like. And during the coronavirus crisis right now, many practices happening in the western democratic countries resemble greatly to what China has done.
It prompts me out of the box of the ideology battle. Running a country is not merely by a single righteous ideology, but a series of functional, scientific and correct physical implementations.
Steve Wanner is a highly respected 37-year-old partner at Ernst & Young, married with four young children. When we met him a year ago, he was working 12- to 14-hour days, felt perpetually exhausted, and found it difficult to fully engage with his family in the evenings, which left him feeling guilty and dissatisfied. He slept poorly, made no time to exercise, and seldom ate healthy meals, instead grabbing a bite to eat on the run or while working at his desk.
My ability to read fast seems to come from two sources, and it appears to be natural.
First is energy, if I have a sober and sharp head, I can read fast naturally. A sober and sharp head comes from the replenishing of the physical body, thus it’s physical energy.
Second is the technique, it seems that when fast reading appears naturally, I skim through the paragraphs that are not so important and can be digested or retold in a few words/sentences. Basically fillers. It’s more like I can sense what’s important in a chapter and what is not. I would highlight the important parts of a chapter automatically when I come across them, and the unimportant/filler parts would be skimmed through. Not sure how it works but it seems like when you are going through fillers, it’s like 1-1-1-1-A-1-1-1, usually books tell the important information this way. A is the important and 1 is a filler.
I want to monitor my opinion shift to see if there is any opinions changed drastically because I need to take different actions, or choosing different side.
Because there is only one truth, as we all know that the higher stage rationality goes, the narrower the path becomes and more unified it is.
I am going to give myself a set of words to see if my opinions have shifted drastically over time, and in many cases, it could be false perceptions.
Customize as much as you can to put yourself at the 2%, all of your actions should be built towards customizations and putting yourself at the 2% basket.
But have a plate under you that puts you in the 60-70% basket, in case you fail.
I am not sure how this is actually going to lay out in the reality, I don’t know the exact steps I need to undertake to make some system as flexible like this.
You either be risky, or stable. Choose one. There is no middle ground. Middle ground usually leads to being unstable and nothing like both.
I feel like ever since the 2018 hospital incident, my health conditions haven’t been good.
Most of the times I have no idea what’s going on in my body and why do I have all the previously never seen strange behaviors.
At this moment, it’s quite clear that my body is yet again fucked.
And other than waiting for it to recover, there is not much I can do.
OF course, I want to finish what ì started. But I’m afraid I don’t have the means to do it anymore.
